It’s really starting to feel like my feet have big bulls eyes painted on them. Why, do you ask? Besides fracturing a bone in each of them, a bee managed to fly right into my flip flop and sting me on the bottom of my second toe.
I believe my exact words upon feeling the stinger were, “F@%K!!!!!!!!! You’ve got to be f@$king kidding me!” It swelled up like a little sausage. I haven’t been stung by a bee since I was a little kid. I forgot that it hurts like a bitch.
Then, even before the bee incident, snakes and groundhogs have been trying to push me off my bike when I’m riding on trails. They’re not directly attacking my feet, but I feel like that’s what they’re going after. It’s a gut feeling I have, and since everything else has happened to my feet, why not add a snake and groundhog bite?
I don’t mind the groundhogs so much because they’re cute. They like to run out in front of me when I’m biking, particularly when I’m sprinting. On the trail where I see them, there is plenty of room to swerve to avoid hitting them. But these are big groundhogs, like the size of a small dog. If I hit one, I would fly over my handlebars and break my foot or my face. The groundhog would probably walk away unharmed or come over and bite my foot to just really kick me when I’m down.
What I do mind are the snakes. I am scared to death of them. I would rather get stung by a bee again in my foot then see a snake. If I was in my car and ran over a snake, I’d be fine with that. But on my bike, my skin is too close to its fangs. Even typing this is giving me the chills.
The last three times I have gone biking in Maryland on a nature trail there have been big black snakes crossing the trails. Yes, I realize you’re supposed to see nature on a nature trail, but why does it have to be snakes?! They’re the width of the trail, that’s how big they are. I’ve had to swerve off the path, narrowly missing their heads or tails.
A few weeks ago I didn’t see the snake crossing until much too late and rode right past its head. The other times I’ve only seen the tail. But in my mind I see the snake jumping up and attacking me. It’s not that far fetched considering I’m endangering its life with my bike. But it is a good motivator to go faster. When I do see one I want to instantly get home and get the hell away from nature.
So here’s my warning to you nature: back off. I’ve had enough injuries this year. I’m helping your environment by walking and biking, and not driving my car. So show me a little respect by not trying to knock me off my bike or sting me. Thank you.
